Bilingu is Hot

(He's the one picking his nose.)

Bilingu in California

When Bilingu and I were in California this summer, we were talking about street sweeping. I was talking about how Bilingu had to move the car to the other side of the road on my parents' street so that it didn't get a ticket, since it was street sweeping day and all. I asked Bilingu about how the signs work in Argentina for making sure the cars are at least 3 feet from the curb on street sweeping day, and he told me that they don't have to be a whole 3 feet away. 

"Is the machine that small?" I wanted to know.

"The machine is a little man with a broom," Bilingu said. 

Memories of whiteness

Bilingu was telling me a story about an Argentine friend of his who he has known since he was only 4 years old (or maybe younger, it's sometimes hard to remember the details of every single one of Bilingu's stories). In describing the friend, he said that as a child the friend was small and skinny and "very white" (Bilingu was talking in Spanish).

I told Bilingu that that concept didn't translate culturally, and that white people don't think of younger white people as being more white than when they are older.

Bilingu, disagreed, saying that smaller white and non-white people are all whiter when they are smaller because they have not been around the sun as much.

Hm. 

Identikit

This one is still a mystery for Bilingu lovers like myself. But, suffice it say, Bilingu is convinced that 'Identikit' is an English word meaning that picture they put of up people when they go missing.

We need to do some investigations on such identikit, Bilingu.

Dumper and Dumper

Sometimes, Bilingu tries to say words like "lamb" and "dumb". Understandably, he gets very upset at the English language that they put these awful, useful 'b' letters in places where they don't want people to make 'b' sounds.

Result?

Bilingu likes to eat lamp.
Bilingu likes the movie Dump and Dumper.
Sometimes, Bilingu feels Dump.

Bilingu's First Dance

When Bilingu was 12, he had his first dance with Dora. It was a slow dance, and it was a big step for Bilingu. When he and Dora started dancing, though, he realized that Dora smelled of mandarinas (mandarine oranges). Bilingu is not a huge fan of the perpetual, unwashable smell of mandarinas.

Bilingu thought: I have been waiting all these years to dance with a girl and this is what she smells like. Phew!

Retelling the story, twenty years later, Bilingu adds: "I tried to put Dora outside my brains for years!"

Good idea, Bilingu.

Ah, the Musical Party

Bilingu can't sleep. There is some kind of "musical party" going on upstairs.

Oh, them musical parties...

Poor bilingu....

Little House on Bilingu's Prarie

What Bilingu does, love, however, is Little House in the Prarie. To the complete bafflement of yours truly, the country of Argentina foregoed (?) broadcasting I Love Lucy, which had a Latin American character, no less, in favor of a program about the antics Laura and girls in petticoats.

Bilingu does not love Lucy

Bilingu doesn't know what I Love Lucy is. I am shocked. Considering I thought this was the first sitcom, like ever (isn't there something meaningful with the fact that they had one bed as opposed to two twins?)...

Shocked people, shocked.

Is Bilingu White?

One day, Bilingu and I got into an argument when I said he wasn't white. 

The argument:

me: You are not white. 

Bilingu: Of course I'm white. 

me: You're not white. 

Bilingu: Yes I am.

me: You're something else. Latino, Spanish, Meditaranean. You are not white. 

Bilingu: You are wrong.

me: on a college application in the USA you would not be white. 

The conversation continued along these useless lines for several weeks. Until Bilingu verified that he is indeed considered "latino" or "mediterraneo" and I am "anglosajona." 

Bilingu thought this was a funny word. 

Say it in your brains

One night, Bilingu and I were saying a good night prayer. I was saying it softly, though, and Bilingu was having trouble hearing. This had been a problem in the past, and Bilingu didn't like it when I said prayers too softly. Bilingu wanted to hear, and felt annoyed. Not being too godly about the whole thing, Bilingu said:

"Just say it in your brains!"

Let's give her candies

There was a very non-special person in my life who was driving me out of my mind, and Bilingu was trying to cheer me up about it. In the sarcastic way that Bilingu is, he wrote me an email saying:

"Let's give her candies!"

Close, Bilingu, so close. 

Bilingu on a strike

Bilingu was kind of having a bad day (why is it that bad days make Bilingu all that much more funny?), and he decided he needed to take a time-out from life for a little while. He said to me:

"I am on a strike."

So close linguistically Bilingu, but no go. 

Bilingu feels impotent

One day, Bilingu was complaining about work. Bilingu was having a bad day, and he really felt that the didn't have control over a lot of the things happening to him. It was sad for Bilingu, clearly. To express his feelings, Bilingu said:

"I feel impotent."

I think that's called "over-sharing", Bilingu. 

Bilingu makes eggs

Bilingu is good at making breakfast. 

One day, I said I wanted scrambled eggs.

Bilingu had never seen scrambled eggs before. But since he is a pretty good little cook, and can make good omelettes and friend eggs, I assumed this would not be a problem. I explained in careful, step by step instructions how to make scrambled eggs. [do not flip or overstir, poke in slowly from the sides until the uncooked egg on the top trickles down to the pan and cooks, etc]. I used the very same instructions my own grandmother had given to me many a time. However, I did not go stand in the kitchen with him as he made them. 

Bilingu looked confident.

Sadly, though, the fact that Bilingu had no visual reference point for scrambled eggs made my instructions unfathomable to his Bilingu brain. After he brought me this (below), I then showed him a real picture of scrambled eggs.

Bilingu was wrong. I sent the pictures to my grandmother. 

What is smoothie? What is blender?

One day, I woke up wanting a smoothie. I told Bilingu this. 

Me: "We should make a smoothie." 

Bilingu: "What is smoothie?"

Me: "The thing you make with a blender."

Bilingu: "What is blender?"

I am burning

When Bilingu likes to wash dishes, sometimes (as happens to all people - including fearless Bilingu) the water gets a little too hot. When he wants to turn it down, he says:

"I am burning!" 

Someone save Bilingu. 

Claires Pauley

Bilingu likes a certain nightgown I have that makes me look homeless. My mother says a highschool friend of mine, Claire Pauley, left it at my parent's house ten years ago. Because Bilingu sometimes has teeny tiny problems with possession in the English language, he sometimes asks:

"Where is the Claires Pauley gown?"

Why are not here?

When Bilingu misses me, he expresses his love in a particularly kind way:

"Why are not here?"

Don't worry Bilingu. I, too, miss the good times (see above). 

I am eating up the book

Today, Bilingu was making a rather strong point about some new information he was learning in a nice hard-back book. To express how interesting he thought the information was, he said:

"I am eating up the book!"

I born here

Bilingu was driving a US friend to the hospital in Argentina. It was the same hospital where Bilingu's little life had once started. 

Bilingu exclaimed: "I born here!"

Merry Christmas Bilingu

I started this blog as a Christmas present for Bilingu.

I hope he likes it!

This is Bilingu

When I first introduced some of my friends in America to Bilingu, some of my other friends were sad they could not meet him. So we made a sign, and we asked Bilingu to hold the sign. It introduced himself to the world. Bilingu is a good little party trick.